Adulation
by ThankGoodness
Summary: The conversation was inaudible, a look of increasing frustration on the blond's face. I only realized it had involved me when Galinda's eyes pierced into mine again, before she turned around and fled. The Headmistress motioned for me. M for later chapters
1. Chapter 1

I had never seen anyone so painfully beautiful in my entire life. I had only read about the beauty of Gillikinese people in books - but what I was affronted with? There seemed to be so much sadness hidden in those ice blue eyes, a depth that not even I could fathom. I was immediately drawn in. The way the sunlight, filtering in through raised windows shone on her soft, flaxen curls, and illuminated her ghostly pale skin. The shadows indicating loss of sleep under her bright eyes contrasted against the pearly glow of her skin. This specimen was the most attractive thing I had ever laid eyes on, and I wanted - needed - to learn more.

She stepped into the orientation hall, held with such grace. Her dress was a deep green, velvet, and very intricately designed, accompanied by an academic shawl. I simply couldn't take my eyes off of her.

"Tragic, isn't it?" came a male voice. I jumped and turned around. A tall boy with curly blond hair and extremely green eyes was staring past me, and nodded in the blond's direction. I followed his gaze.

"What is?"

"Her beauty. It almost breaks your heart."

I ignored him and picked up my carpet bag, heading for the orientation hall. An hour went by and pair by pair, girls were being sent off to their dorms. My eyes were stuck to the short curls of the beautiful girl I had seen earlier. I didn't notice when she turned around until her eyes met mine, and I suddenly felt as though I was being scrutinized. I didn't shrink away - I held my ground and my eyes never left hers. This seemed to confuse her. She tilted her head to the side ever so slightly. The emotion in those eyes was incredibly difficult to read.

"Galinda of the Arduennas of the Uplands?"

Her head snapped around and she stood, walking towards the large fish-like woman that was our Headmistress. Their conversation was inaudible, a look of increasing frustration on the blond's face. I only realized it had involved me when Galinda's eyes pierced into mine again, before she turned around and fled. The Headmistress motioned for me. I was to be rooming with Miss Galinda Arduenna.

It wasn't the most enjoyable situation at first. The girl spoke nearly two words to me in an intoxicating voice, before fleeing. I hardly saw her after that. She was always out and about, making acquaintances with all of the nice young girls. There was only one occasion on which we were both in our dorm at the same time for more than thirty minutes.

"Why _do_ you always read?"

I looked up from the pages of my worn sermons, and her eyes pierced into mine. The same curiosity I saw one month and a half ago was returning.

"Why don't you read?"

I heard her huff of impatience, and smirked to myself. "That does not answer my question, Miss Elphaba," came her prim response.

"I read to occupy myself, Miss Galinda. And I read because I enjoy it."

"What is there to enjoy about old sermons?" I looked at her in curiosity, and she motioned to the title on the spine of the book. Her eyes bore into mine and pried the truth out of me.

"My father is a devout follower of the Unnamed God, I'm simply interested in what others think of it."

The blonde rolled onto her back on her oversized, frilly comforter. "And are you a devout follower?"

My eyebrow rose. "Why are you suddenly so interested in me?"

Her small, fragile shoulders gave the tiniest of shrugs. "You are my roomie. I'm simply interested in learning more. This is the polite thing to do, is it not?"

"Indeed."

"So, green bean. Are you?"

"Am I what, Miss Galinda the Badger?"

"Devoted to the Unnamed God?"

I didn't have to think. My entire life, my father and Nessarose had been devout followers, and always tried to push their beliefs on me. "No, I don't believe so. I like to think of myself as a neutral being."

Silence filled the room for quite a few moments. I went back to reading, thinking the conversation was over. Galinda had never been very talkative with me, and I was expecting the moment of communication would be short-lived. I occasionally caught glances of the blonde fanning herself to relieve herself of the heat. Her neck was exposed, and I felt something strange in my stomach. Her eyes caught mine as she glanced around the room.

"Miss Elphaba?"

"Mmm?"

"Do you always stare?"

I scowled, but offered her no answer. Galinda simply nodded in response to my silence and continued rifling through her mass of gorgeous, delicate dresses. My eyes peeked out from behind the worn pages of my volume, and I watched as she unbuttoned the front of her gown and stepped out. I quickly looked back, unable to handle anymore. Within thirty seconds, she was changed into another dress. I simply rolled my eyes and turned my attention back to the volume I was reading. It would certainly take some adjusting for me to be comfortable with Galinda.

After that, she hardly spoke to me again for weeks. She greeted me when she entered the room, and dismissed me when she left. She asked questions related to our Life Sciences work, I answered, and silence followed. Though, I suppose I can't complain about her behavior - at least she was decent. The way most of the other girls acted still disturbed me. The things they said!

As I walked along the Suicide Canal, I heard those ninnies whispering.

"I hear she prefers the company of women over men."

"I hear she was born a male!"

"I hear she's the spawn of a toad."

I looked up at them and offered a crooked smile, and they giggled in a cruel manner. As my eyes scrutinized them, I recognized the hem of a very familiar dress - one of Galinda's. My eyes rose to her face, and her strong gaze bore into me. The brightness of her eyes contrasted at large with the dark shadows beneath them. I stopped in my path, and she flashed me a brilliant smile. I tried not to stagger backwards at the sheer perfection, and her companions looked at me in disapproval, each of them scoffing. Her eyes stayed locked on mine however, and hard as I tried, I couldn't grip the emotion that seemed to be dripping from her gaze. Could it be... satisfaction? A very strange sort of satisfaction, as though one of the things she heard had pleased her profoundly. I found my skin burning under my cheeks and quickly tore my eyes away from her, quickening my pace. I could feel her gaze burning into the back of my head as I retreated.

--

After that incident, she began speaking to me more often - she was far more friendly, and it disturbed me. What had she heard? Did she want something? No one had ever been so kind to me without seeking something in return. But she never asked for anything. Months passed, and rarely did I find her around the crude idiots that she used to call friends. As she spent more time with me, I began to see past her perfect, happy facade. I began to realize the reason for the dark, sunken circles under her eyes that seemed to make her inhuman beauty that much more heartbreaking.

She never slept at night. And when she did, it was short-lived. I would wake up to find her reading, or staring at herself in the mirror intently - as if she were judging herself. There would be a frown - not the pout I had become accustomed to - on her rose lips, and her eyebrow would crease prettily, as if in concentration. Or, disapproval? And sometimes, she would be combing her hair with no emotion in her eyes whatsoever.

One night I woke up, as I often do numerous times in the middle of the night. I looked to Galinda's bed, unsurprised to find it empty. I turned to glance at her vanity. She sat, staring emotionlessly into the mirror. A cup of tea sat in her hand, and as I gazed at her curiously, I noticed something disturbing. Her chest wasn't moving, nor her shoulders. She didn't appear to be breathing. I sat up and looked at her in concern.

"Galinda?"

Her eyes moved quickly to mine in the mirror. She took a sip of the tea that was in her hand. My brows furrowed, and she offered me a sweet smile. Her chest began moving again. "Can't sleep, Elphie?" she asked in her musical voice. I shook my head.

"Is something wrong, my sweet?" I asked as I rose from my bed and walked to her vanity. She was still dressed in her clothing from the day before. I placed my hands on her shoulders, looking into the mirror at her eyes. The eyes that constantly had something to hide.

"I'm in over my head, Elphaba," said Galinda solemnly and quietly. I asked why, but Galinda simply shook her head and sighed. The moonlight shining in from the window seemed to illuminate her skin. She looked like a ghost in the desaturated colour of the night, her pale skin glowing and the dark shadows beneath her eyes more prominent than ever. And yet her hair was curled meticulously, perfectly, and her dress was as pristine as when she had put it on. Her light eyes peeked out at me from thick eyelashes, and I didn't ask any more questions. I knew she wanted to leave the subject be.

I didn't go to sleep after that. I stayed up with her, sitting quietly and sipping tea. No further words passed between us, but there was no need for them. The silence was comfortable. In that moment, I felt a paradigm shift between myself and my roomie. I knew something about her that no one else knew. And as we sat in silence and I watched her facial expression, I knew that that fact frightened her.

--

A few days later I arrived at Life Sciences to find the seat beside mine - which was usually empty - filled with a body. The pale wheat-coloured hair and the intricate, deep violet dress gave away who my mystery companion was. I took my seat beside her and looked at her with concern. For the first time, I got a good look at her face in the sunlight - an up close view. Her skin had very little tint to it, excluding the use of the tiniest bit of beauty product to add a hint of colour to her otherwise pale face. The dark shadows seemed to take on a purple hue - they almost looked like bruises. It made me wonder just how long - months or years - she had been without sleep.

She looked over at me with those void, yet strong eyes and a smile adorned her features. I leaned back to absorb her entirely. "Why, pray tell, have you chosen to accompany me today?"

Galinda gave a small shrug. "It looked dreadfully boring for you, alone in the front row. I thought I would provide some company." I raised my eyebrow and her eyes shot over to her former friends at a particularly high speed - had I blinked, I would have missed it. I also would have missed the extremely brief look of disgust. She didn't speak a word to me the rest of the class, however, excluding making inquiries about the work of course. I watched her mannerisms as she worked, suddenly aware of things I had never witnessed.

She twirled her already perfect curls as she read, she tapped her perfectly lacquered nails while Dillamond was lecturing, her eyebrows would furrow in frustration when she didn't understand a function, and a small crease would appear in her perfect forehead. Occasionally I saw her pink tongue poke out of between her lips in concentration. The small, lilting giggle that escaped her lips when Dillamond said something particularly witty captivated me - it was a sound I had never heard before from my particularly melancholic roomie. And it made me realize that somewhere within her, there was a little girl dying to escape whatever it was that ailed the strange and appealing young woman next to me.

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: **This is the first chapter of my new story. Clearly I write Galinda with a bit of... a strange kind of darkness and mystery to her character, sort of how she is in the novel. For now, anyways. : I know I don't usually finish my stories, but I've had this idea in my head for a long time - I just had to perfect it, and even now it's still a little rough. This one, I will definitely be finishing. Even if writer's block gets in the way in the process, which it inevitably will.


	2. Chapter 2

No one had ever bothered to examine me as closely as I knew Elphaba did. All my childhood life, I had been the pretty little girl that everyone in Frottica knew and loved, with an aura of happiness and energy. The epitome of what every parent wanted their child to be - even including my tendency to cause mischief. Until I turned sixl. Until I became simply a shell of the girl I used to be. I lost sleep, and in the beginning it was only due to nightmares. In the beginning. I began sleepwalking, and would wake up in the middle of the night screaming bloody murder because of the images that would form in my head. Images little girls should never see. It was too much for me. Eventually, I stopped sleeping altogether.

No one noticed this change, only Father. He told me that I had to be strong for mother, and that I couldn't let anyone else know what was happening. I had to be the same little girl I always had been. And so I was. But that didn't help me understand why I could never sleep anymore. Hours upon hours of research in the library, more books than I ever cared to read. He could only identify it as a sleeping disorder, not yet named.

My entire life, I had to hide this from people. We didn't know what it was, and even after all of our reading we struggled to understand it. That was the reason I was to have a private room here, so that no one would realize it. But honestly, with the terrible bruises under my eyes? How could people be so blind as to look past them? Sometimes it drove me mad. Whenever I began to think that someone had noticed, my mind started screaming, "please, notice! Something's wrong!" But no one did.

Elphaba - she was different, though. She would wake up multiple times during the night - I knew, because I would watch her in the mirror as she slept. Highly inappropriate as that might have been. She seemed so peaceful when she slept, undisturbed in a dreamless sleep. If I could feel anything, I would have felt at ease while I watched her, but I had been so devoid of emotion for so long that I hardly felt anything anymore.

I knew she stared at me. Everyone stared at me when I was in Shiz. But most people, in a lustful way. Elphaba truly paid attention to me. I tried to push her away at first, as anyone would. To be honest, it disturbed me. It was the first time that anyone had bothered to care enough to pay such close attention, to come to me in the middle of the night and ask if something was wrong. I never knew how much I needed that, how much I wanted it, until her. I simply wish I had a way to express it. I too, paid attention. But never so openly.

We sat in our room one night, during a rain storm. She seemed to sit as far away from the window as possible, but that was the least of my concerns. She sat in a corner on the love seat in our dorm, her nose stuck, yet again, in a book. It became an endearing quality over time, something I had come to expect from my reserved companion. But the lack of stimulating conversation was too much to bear.

"Elphaba?"

She nodded, but didn't look up from her volume.

"Why did you come to Shiz?"

She looked up that time, and offered a look meant to ask if I was mentally incompetent. I simply stared at her, awaiting my answer. Was there something odd about the question that I hadn't noticed?

"Why does anyone come to Shiz? To learn," was her response, and I frowned. She noticed this and moved her book ever-so-slightly away from her face. "Didn't you?"

I gave a small laugh - did it sound bitter? - and shook my head. "I suppose that was my father's secondary concern."

She folded her book closed this time and looked directly at me. "Secondary? What was his primary?"

I offered her a small shrug. "To find a husband. As any young society woman is expected to," I replied. She tilted her head to the side, and, unexpectedly - laughed. I didn't know whether to be amused or insulted. Not that I could feel either. "Was that funny, Miss Elphie? How so?"

My green companion gave me a funny look. "Honestly? That is your only reason for being here?"

I nodded, but smiled to myself. "Indeed. Unfortunately, there will be little success." Elphaba snorted, and I jumped. How unladylike!

"Galinda, you have men following you like helpless pets, finding a suitable husband should be fairly simple a task," said my green roomie. I chuckled, and it sounded empty. As always.

"Be that as it may, I do not wish to marry a pet, Elphaba." I stared at her blankly, and she stared back. One walking into the room at that very moment might have thought it uncomfortable. It was anything but. This Elphaba, she was complicated. I could see it, every time I looked into her eyes. Like me. A jigsaw puzzle to solve. The kind that drive you mad for hours, and yet you never give up. How could I have gotten myself into such a mess?

But it was a mess that had become an addiction. It may not have been obvious to the naked eye, but it was painfully obvious to me. I started abandoning my friends for her! Preposterous, yes? And yet, they didn't seem to matter as much anymore. Nothing seemed to matter as much anymore. I knew it wasn't allowed, but she was so close - she knew something was wrong with me. She saw me every night, stayed up with me during one. She cared - but that fact made me slightly uncomfortable. What would father think?

I was laying on my bed - staring at the ceiling. And that thought appeared in my head. What would he think? If he were here now, what would he say? _Don't let her pull you in Galinda. If she finds out, she could use it against you. _Ridiculous. Elphaba would never fall to such a level. _You don't know her as well as you think you do. You can't trust anyone Galinda, she could hurt you. _She couldn't. She won't. _She can, and she will if she finds out your condition. It's not normal, sweetheart. _

I shut my eyes tightly and tried to will the voice out of my head. I'm positive my face turned blue before I finally shut his words out. My breathing got heavier and I looked beside me to my roommate. She couldn't possibly tell anyone. Who would she tell? She wouldn't have any proof. _What do you think the bruises under your eyes represent? _No one cares enough to pay attention, Daddy. Don't worry. I won't let anyone find out. _There's my girl._

--

"Galinda?"

It wanted to answer her - but I promised Father. No one could find out. I continued applying a ribbon to my hair, examining the work in the mirror.

"Galinda, my sweet. Is something wrong?"

I gave a deep breath and looked down at my lap for a few beats, before smoothing the bodice of my dress and rising. I gathered my things to leave. I could hear her putting her gargantuan boots on behind me, and I moved faster. Unfortunately, due to my apparent lack of ability to retain grip on beauty products, Elphaba caught me by the arm and turned me around.

"Galinda. I asked you a question."

I gave her a blank stare. Which had entirely the wrong affect, as she continued talking.

"You have been ignoring me for the past two weeks. Did I do something wrong?"

Blank stare.

"My sweet, please. Tell me if I have done something to drive you away."

The desperation in her voice cracked my resolve for a split second before I rebuilt it, but I knew she caught it. I shook my head and pried her hand off of my arm.

"Not now, Elphaba."

Her grip tightened, and my jaw hardened. Why couldn't she leave things alone? "Yes, now. I'm tired of being your behaviour."

"Not. Now." I tore my arm away from hers, ignoring the clutch that fell from my hand. It wasn't necessary, and could be sacrificed. When her eyes fell to the clutch momentarily, I darted out the door. There was nothing I wanted more than to tell her, so she would understand. But she would simply have to get there on her own.

The next night I sat at my vanity, staring into nothingness. My reflection didn't feel real anymore. It felt like something dead, something blank. At night, my reflection had no face. To me, anyway. There was nothing to look at - no huge smile, no bright eyes, no rosy cheeks like when I was young. What happened to me? I knew my nightmares took hold, but why couldn't I have overcome them? Why couldn't I face my fears and sleep, and have hope? Father had hope for Mother. He cried at her bedside every night, even while I was away. But I couldn't shed a tear. It was as though my emotions had shut down, and I was just a tick-tock creature. Made of metal and scraps, manufactured to do the same things every day.

I turned from my faceless reflection to watch Elphaba. The only time I felt safe to reveal myself was when she was asleep, and I was alone. Her hair was tangled in a dark mess, her unusual green skin illuminated by the moonlight from the raised window. I tried to think how someone so magnificent and exotic could be treated so poorly. No one saw Elphaba like I did. Everyone saw the beastly side of her, the side that gave her that terrible image. I knew better.

She was a peaceful person. Although I knew she was complex and conflicted, it was in an intriguing way. Everything about her made me want to learn more. But it was too early, and too inappropriate to already be sharing family histories. And still, every time I set eyes on that gorgeous skin and stared into those gorgeous eyes, I wanted to feel. I wanted so badly to feel something. My head screamed for the emotional sector of my brain to turn back on, to feel _something. _Anything.

My body felt detached however. As though there was another part of me, a part that my brain could no longer control - the part that I lost all those years ago, fighting to get back inside of me. As my brain struggled with this thought, I heard rustling and snapped my head away from Elphaba's direction, back into the mirror. There was a face, but it was empty. Nothing. My brows furrowed in concentration. Please, come back to life. Please.

A hand on my shoulder - a very warm hand - broke my thoughts. I remained staring.

"I'm worried for you," she said in an almost inaudible whisper. I tried to feel relief or thankfulness, anything! But yet again, nothing came. So I just kept staring.

"I'm fine."

She leaned forward and I felt her warm breath on my neck. The hair on the back of my neck stood on end. "I don't believe that for one second."

But she never brought it up again. She sat with me, all night. Like last time. No more conversation. I looked at her though, and saw her emotions conveyed so thoroughly. I frowned - why did she get to keep her emotions? Why were only mine taken from me? It was utterly ridiculous.

"Elphie?" I questioned, utilizing her new nickname. She nodded in response. "Have you ever wondered about souls?"

I could feel her fingers against my scalp as she combed the long green digits through my hair.

"What do you mean, my precious?" she asked. I turned to look at her, and noticed the emotion shift into her eyes. Was it a hint of fear? Why in Oz fear?

"Do you believe in them? Do you believe that people have souls?"

She considered, and I almost heard the gears in her head turn as I examined her facial expressions. "I suppose we do. Some souls are good, some souls are bad. But I believe that if we do? - our souls are the essence of who we are, the reason and emotion behind our actions."

I stared at her, trying to process that information. The essence of who I was?

"Can I tell you something?" I asked, and my green companion nodded. "I think my soul went away a long time ago."


	3. Chapter 3

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: **Sorry this took so long guys, my life has been kind of hectic. Family health and Christmas coming up has taken up most of my time and worries. Sorry if this chapter seems a little iffy, I was fairly tired when I wrote it. Thanks for your patience!

Night after night, I stayed up with her. I needn't sleep, I knew that long ago. Galinda needed me more at night than my unconscious did. I sat with her at her vanity every night, combing my fingers through her hair in silence. Those nights, she didn't seem as rigid as she did in the day. Far more relaxed, yet still not quite right.

Not quite right. No, I knew that something was very wrong with her, and I knew that she was somehow depending on me to mend her. Perhaps she wasn't quite aware of that yet, but I was. I was the only person who cared, truly cared. I sat up with her every night when she needed it, I spoke to her when she needed to listen to someone, or someone to listen. But I could not fathom why someone like Galinda would need someone like me, so much.

Someone as gorgeous as Galinda should not be so haunted. I struggled during the day to discover what could possibly be bothering her. I never came to any conclusions. She sat with me in every class that we had with each other, and we grew closer with each night that passed. No words were spoken, but none were needed. Not at night, when all that was required was comfort.

"Elphie?" my blond counterpart asked, as my fingers combed through her impossibly soft curls. I hummed in response. "Why do you do this for me?"

I didn't have to think about that answer. "I care for you Galinda, and worry for you. I have never seen anyone so devoid of life."

She said nothing in response, as I expected. Rarely did she respond to my responses. We sat yet again in silence, as she scrutinized herself in the mirror. I watched her, wondering what on Earth she could be scrutinizing about her appearance. Everything was perfect. Those eyes, her perfectly shaped pale eyebrows, her pouty pink lips, her luminescent white skin, her soft flaxen curls. Not one thing was out of place. Even the shadows under her eyes escalated her beauty. Her nose was slightly curved and small, perfectly proportionate. It almost made me steam with jealousy.

"Penny for your thoughts?"

The Frottican was silent for a time, gathering the thoughts swirling around in her head. I watched in companionable silence.

"Have you ever been in love, Elphie?" asked my roomie listlessly. The question startled me. Had I been in love? I couldn't say that I had. No one had ever given me the time of day, much less let me get to know them long enough to fall in love.

"I say, what is love? Really?"

"I'll assume that is a negative, then."

I looked at her in bewilderment. "Why would you ask such a question, my sweet?"

The blond proffered a shrug. "Curiosity. I've not felt anything in such a time, I simply wanted to know what love might feel like, were I ever to fall unsuspectingly in its grasp." I thought about this for a moment.

"But if you've not felt in so long, and you insist that you won't, you will never know if you are in love or not. You'll not feel it when it happens," I countered contritely.

Silence followed for a few moments as we both regained our thought processes. She was the first to speak.

"I always imagined that, if I were ever to feel some sort of emotion again, love would be it," she reasoned. "It is said to be extremely overpowering. I, for one, am not so sure. If I was sent here to find a husband and fall in love, should it not have happened by now?" I shook my head.

"Love certainly takes time, Galinda, from what I understand. Have you felt anything at all in your time here?"

She thought about this, which made me wonder. Should she have to think about it? If she hadn't felt anything, wouldn't she know?

"I can't say that I am too sure. I do not think that I have – but if I've not felt in so long, how am I to know what it feels like to feel?" Her brows furrowed, and I noticed a very small crease form on her forehead. I had not the faintest idea how to respond. So we sat in silence again. This time, until the sun rose. When the early morning light began to peek through our stained-glass window, I looked at her reflection in the mirror. Her lids were closed, and she was absolutely still. I raised an eyebrow. Certainly not sleeping?

"Galinda?"

Her eyes immediately shot open, staring at me. Not sleeping. "Beg pardon, I was simply lost in thought," amended she, and her lithe figure rose to ready herself for the day. I watched as she moved about, and though her appearance and her emotionless eyes had not changed one bit, I could feel that something within her was working again. She wasn't just as lifeless as she had claimed.

In the weeks to pass, nothing changed between us. We hardly spoke during the day, while at night nothing could separate us. It was a strange bond, one might have thought. Though to me, it seemed absolutely regular. The mystery that was Galinda was not unfolding as quickly as I had hoped, but every night I felt that I was just a hint closer to the answers.

Night after night, hour after endless hour, we sat at her vanity as I lost invaluable sleep. Sometimes there was brief conversation, sometimes there was nothing. Sometimes our conversations resembled absurd theatre, moving simply in endless circles and finishing where we began.

"Miss Elphie?" I hummed in response.

"Have you ever felt jealousy?"

I nearly snorted. What have I to be jealous of? Me, the green bean. "Of course, everyone has experienced jealousy of some sort."

"What of?"

I searched through my brain to recall the most recent occurrence of jealousy. It instantly turned to the tug against my heart that I felt when Master Avaric began stealing Galinda's attention on our walks in the courtyard. For the time, it felt as though I was suddenly forgotten, and Galinda was completely absorbed in his meaningless natter. "Of many things," responded I carefully.

"And what does it feel like?"

I feebly tried to put the feeling into words. "Like someone has pulled on your heart strings, and suddenly you have a desire so great that it eats away at you. A desire for something someone else has, typically."

The woman in my lap merely pursed her lips and nodded, her brows creasing yet again in concentration. Was she trying to remember a time, any time, where she had felt something like that?

"When I was four," she began, "the little girl of a friend of my father's came by with her father on a business trip. She had a very pretty pink bow in her hair that I wanted for myself. Would that constitute at jealousy?" The query almost put me in stitches.

"Yes, I suppose it would," I said through small fits of chuckles.

She looked at me in frustration. "What, pray tell, was so amusing Miss Elphie?"

I merely shook my head and grinned. "All of these questions about feeling! I have an idea. Why do you not let down your guard, and _try_ to feel something?" Galinda looked positively taken aback. "Honestly, my sweet. How will you ever learn to feel again if you do not try?"

The blond stood up, staring pointedly at me. "I do _try_. Every minute of the day, I try to feel something, anything. I don't feel alive, Miss Elphie, I can't feel alive. I _try_ so hard, honestly I do, but I simply cannot. You've no idea how maddening it is to have so little emotion," she said coldly. "Every time I look at you, I try to feel something, but I damned well can't."

I stared at her, regret painfully obvious in my eyes. With no emotion on her face, she was breathtaking. My heart stopped when I imagined her happy, sad, angry, anything. It would undoubtedly be the most stunning, beautiful sight I would ever see, I was sure.

She stared hard at me, those ice blue eyes locking onto mine. "I wish to feel for you Elphie, so terribly do I wish to feel for you," she said quietly, her facial expression never once changing, the tone in her voice ever unchanging. I watched her carefully, examining her every feature. She _really_ could not feel. I could see it, the true, painful honesty with which she spoke. Her expression unchanging, her voice unchanging. It pained me, physically, to see someone so beautiful with such an emotionless life. What must it be like?

As I stared into her miraculously lifeless eyes, I silently promised both myself and her, that she _would_ feel again.


	4. Chapter 4

It was strange to have such a constant companion in my life.

Elphaba was with me constantly. I must say, it was pleasant to have someone to speak to when I needed to. If I ever needed to. Despite how little I actually did speak to her, she never gave up on me. I had never had a friend like that – I never had many friends at all, really. Her presence lifted a weight off of my shoulder that had been tearing me apart.

As we sat up one night – on my bed, for a change – with Lurlinemas looming around the corner, we shared stories about past Lurlinemases. Neither of us had terribly joyful stories, aside from the ones of my childhood that I couldn't remember all too clearly. As that conversation died, which it did fairly quickly with so little to talk about, the familiar silence crept in. I stared into her dark chocolate eyes intently. As I did, I searched every bit of my body frantically, trying to find a hint of a feeling. I could feel my forehead crease in concentration so elaborate, that Elphaba seemed shocked.

"Galinda? Are you feeling alright?" she asked, and I stared a little while longer. Her eyes were so full of emotion, concern, and something else. Something I had seen in my father's eyes every time he had looked at my mother when I was a small child. I couldn't place it. I sighed, and shook my head.

"Yes, yes. I'm quite fine," came my droll response.

"Did you...?"

I shook my head, knowing what she meant to ask. No, I had not felt a thing. If I could have felt despair at the fact, I certainly would have. Anguish, pain, they would all be eating at me because I could feel nothing for Elphaba. If that were possible, of course. And yet, I knew that Elphaba was special. I knew she was significant.

"I want to Elphie... help me try."

Something in my words surprised her. I've no idea what, but she seemed pleased. Excited? I moved closer to her, still searching her eyes, her face. She inched forward too. In that moment, I heard a prominent heart beat in my chest, pounding hard. And yet I could feel nothing. I didn't feel the emotion that I know I should have in that moment. What was wrong with me? I sighed, and Elphaba raised her hand. Her palm faced me, her eyes questioning. I lifted my hand up to touch hers, the tips of my fingers touching hers.

I stared at our fingers with conviction. There was something inside of me, something that seemed as though it was fighting to be free from a cage. A cage that had been it's home for eleven years. It was clawing through the barrier, creating a mass of carnage as my body and mind tried to lock it back in place. It hurt, a lot. So very much, that I could feel Elphaba's concerned, almost frightened stare on my face. I looked up towards her. And it hit. A jolt so powerful that I was nearly knocked over. I stumbled off the bed and backed against the wall. What in Oz? My breathing was ragged as I stared at Elphaba's face. She looked flabbergasted. It was so poignant. A paradigm shift. She stared at me in wonder, her brilliant green face illuminated by the white light of the moon. It was beautiful.

"Galinda..."

And I started laughing. Not hysterically, but softly. Happily. It was the first time I had heard my laugh in years. It was a short-lived breathy laugh, but it was nice. Elphaba got up and moved towards me. "Elphie," said I, breathlessly. She grinned at me, and I smiled back. I couldn't contain it. I felt as though I was stretching muscles that hadn't moved in years. "Elphie... I just -"

She cut me off with a nod. My green-skinned companion was overjoyed. So much so, that she reached out to wrap her arms around me. I curled against her chest and let the emotion I had lived so long without overcome me. However, it was too much. It was too overwhelming, and something in my body clenched, re-closing the hole I had opened. I withdrew from her arms, and she looked at me in concern. I could see sadness in her eyes as she examined my face. No longer were my eyes alight with joy.

"I – It felt so good, so powerful, Elphie," I frowned, staring at the floor in confusion. "Why did it go away?"

She reached out to hold me again, and nothing. I tried to remember what it had felt like the first time, but I couldn't muster the ability to allow it to overcome me.

Soon, Shiz students were days away from Lurlinemas holidays, and going home to their families. Elphaba and I were outside, simply walking in silence, when Avaric decided it his civic duty to disrupt our quiet, peaceful morning.

"Good morning, ladies," he said in his handsome, rugged voice. I offered him a polite smile.

"Well hello, Master Avaric," responded I.

"Miss Galinda, how many countless times have I asked you to call me Avaric? There is no need for an honorific among friends."

I plastered on a fake grin. "Well then, I do insist that you simply refer to me as Galinda from here on in."

As we walked, I continuously tried to find ways in which I could get him to leave. He was not the ideal company, not for me. I had been perfectly content with Elphaba beforehand. But, I knew my manners. And I knew to be polite, especially when conversing with someone of such high standard. So we continued to chatter meaninglessly about trivial things for quite a while, Elphaba remaining silent the entire time.

When he had left to finish the packing he had put off, I pulled my verdant down onto a park bench. She seemed surprised at this gesture, but made no move to leave. I leaned in closely.

"You know that I am to find a husband while I'm here," I began, easing her into the subject. I believed that what I was about to say would seem utterly ridiculous to my green-skinned, unconventionally protective roommate. Elphaba nodded in response. "Well, Elphie. I do believe I might have found him," finished I. My green companion stared at me in awe.

"Who might it be, Galinda?"

"I think it might just be Master Avaric. Oh bugger, I've used the honorific." She gaped at me as I said this. "Miss Elphie, you quite resemble a cod fish. It's unbecoming."

"Master Avaric?" spat she. I simply stared at her. What was so wrong with him?

"Why yes, Elphie. He is everything my parents had dreamed of for me. Wealthy, attractive, kind… although I do find he can be rather irritating, if given the opportunity," said I, and Elphaba could only nod dimly.

"Yes, he can be extremely irritating. And I do not think he is right for you, Galinda. He's so mindless!"

I blinked. "What is so wrong with mindlessness?" She shook her head.

"You're above that, Galinda. You deserve someone far better," said she, and I rose my brow. "You deserve to marry the one you love."

I sighed. "How am I to marry who I love, if I do not know who I love? Perhaps he is the one I love?" After all, how could one who could not feel love, know for sure who she is in love with? My friend seemed to disagree, and she shook her head. "I was considering asking him to accompany me home, so that I could see what became of it. Though… on second thought," I hesitated, and Elphaba seemed hopeful, "perhaps such a lengthy amount of time with him would not be best. I would more than likely smash a vase over his head as time progressed."

Elphaba snorted a chuckle, and I stared at her. "He would certainly deserve it," responded my green companion. I sighed.

"I do suppose I could wait. Perhaps… the one I love will be the one to make me feel again. Perhaps that's how I'll know," said I, though my words lacked the confidence I had wanted to convey.

Elphaba shook her head. "But Galinda… I made you feel. Remember? Maybe… maybe you do not need to wait. Perhaps if we keep trying, you can again." I could hear the hope in her voice, see the excitement in her eyes at the idea of this. I could not help but agree.

OZOZOZ

It was the night before I was to go home for the holidays. Elphaba and I were sitting on the floor of our dormitory, staring intently into each other's eyes. The silence was long and filled the room. At that moment, there was nothing in all of Oz, nothing and no one, but us. The sounds of beds creaking as boys snuck into the girls' dorm illegally to commit acts of sexual behaviour fell on our deaf ears. Flashes of feeling had come and gone within the past hour. I was so overwhelmed in that moment, with the knowledge that Elphaba could help me to feel. So I ased.

"Elphie?"

"Yes, my sweet?"

A small and unfamiliar tug appeared within my chest at what she called me. I think that she saw the flash of it in my eyes, because a small smile tugged at her lips.

"Would you accompany me to my house for the holidays?" asked I. She stared at me, bewildered that I would ask such a thing of her. But as it settled, I could see her hesitation.

"Galinda, I would never want to impose on you and your family."

I scoffed. "Nonsense. I invited you. I do not wish to leave you alone here over the holidays, it simply would not do." I reached forward and gently took her hand. As an electric jolt shot through my body, I inhaled sharply. "Elphie, oh Elphie. Please, come with me."

I looked up into her smouldering chocolate brown eyes, and her cheeks turned a darker shade of green – which, I do believe, constituted a blush. I couldn't help but proffer a coy smile. Something that I hadn't been able to do for far too long. I knew that these feelings would be gone completely when I would leave. I was not ready to give it up. Unfortunately, I should have felt happy when she nodded her approval. But already, the feeling had dissipated and I was empty again. I sighed and stood, walking to my vanity to examine myself in the mirror. My eyes were a steel, almost industrial grey. They looked lifeless. The dark circles under my eyes were as prominent as ever as my pale curls bounced around my cheeks, creating a heartbreakingly lovely contrast. I shook my head.

No. I didn't want to be that person anymore. I wanted to change, and Elphaba was the only person who could help me.


	5. Chapter 5

The train ride to Frottica was long and quiet. Galinda sat opposite me in our compartment, her startling though empty sterling eyes pouring into my chocolate brown ones. They never left mine the entire ride there. It almost felt as though she were looking past me – through me. Like she could see into my very soul. The longer her eyes bore into mine, the more uncomfortable I became. Never were the silences we shared awkward, but the look in her eye, and the hours of endless staring – I was positive her chest hadn't moved once the entire ride. If Galinda was breathing, it was sparingly and hardly noticeable. Something about this silence was different, almost pained. As came closer to Frottica, I could feel the tension in the room rise to an obscene level.

Finally, with five minutes left in the trip, Galinda's eyes tore from mine to look out the window at the rolling hills of her home. I examined her face, every contour. She seemed frustrated. Scared. My body moved instinctively the moment I caught this, to sit next to her. She did not acknowledge me. My hand reached out and took hers, and she laced our fingers together. Her hand was freezing, and I couldn't help but frown. How could someone so beautiful, with such a good heart be so tortured?

"Arriving in Frottica, next stop Pertha Hills!" The conductor's voice came booming through the compartment, and Galinda squeezed my hand in what I assumed was her own act of comfort.

"Elphie…" came her quiet, heartbreaking voice.

I knew she was warning me. Of what, I couldn't quite grasp. So I didn't respond. I didn't have to. As the train came to a stop, I rose to retrieve our baggage from the compartment above our heads. When we exited, I followed Galinda until we came to a stop in front of an extremely large black carriage, with golden curtains covering the windows.

Galinda let go of my hand and moved to hug the man standing in front of the carriage. He was a very tall man with stunning blond hair just like Galinda's, and wise blue eyes. As Galinda hugged him, he frowned. I knew immediately that he knew what was wrong with Galinda, and it clearly pained him to no end. When she returned to me and automatically linked our hands, he looked over at me. His eyes seemed shocked at first, but he recovered quickly.

"Is this the friend you mentioned in your letter, Linny?"

Galinda nodded and nudged me with her elbow. I found my voice and looked up at the man. "I'm Elphaba Thropp, sir. Pleasure to meet you," said I with a small bow. The man laughed and nodded.

"Hello Miss Elphaba, I am Galinda's father Henrik. I've heard plenty about you from my Linny. Pleasure to finally make your acquaintance," said the man with a warm smile, and I smiled back with a flush. I hadn't known that Galinda ever spoke of our friendship to anyone.

I looked to Galinda, and she forced her mouth into a small smile, obviously straining her cheek muscles.

When the introductions were through, the three of us entered the carriage and prepared for the ride to Galinda's home. The first few minutes were quiet, Galinda still clutching my hand for dear life. I saw Henrik's eyes cast confused glances at our hands, and I noticed his surprised look when Galinda laid her head on my shoulder.

Finally, he spoke. "Linny, have you found any possible suitors? You are to be married within the year, you know."

I felt Galinda give a small sigh. "No father, I've not. Why is it necessary that I marry within the year? Should I not wait to fall in love?"

Her father seemed surprised. "Galinda, that could take years. Is there really no suitable bachelors at Shiz?"

"Of course there are, but none of them are for me father. They do not question, they do not think and they feel with their private areas."

I expected a reprimand from Galinda's father, but he simply laughed. "Now dear, I am sure you are overreacting. Not to worry, we will find you someone soon."

Galinda sighed again and leaned farther into me, but she did not press the matter. The rest of the ride was simply casual conversation about how her classes were going, my classes, how the dormitory situation was working, among other trivial things.

I could see as we got closer that Galinda became suddenly stiff, and even more unresponsive than she had ever been. Even her father seemed uncomfortable and sad. I could only look on in confusion. As the carriage drove up the path to her house, Galinda turned to me and looked me fiercely in the eye.

"Elphie," said she simply, and I nodded once again. The warning was stronger now. We exited the carriage, and as I tried to retrieve our baggage, Galinda's hand grabbed hold of my wrist and she shook her head. A man dressed in uniform with some sort of emblem stitched on the corner of his jacket came up and took the baggage from the compartment with a friendly smile.

I was led into the house by Galinda, her hand now crushing mine in a vice grip. She pulled me up the stairs with her father on our heels. I had no time yet to stop and admire her large house. She halted in front of a plain, white wood door and turned to me.

Her icy grey eyes were strong and firm, and told me that this moment was vital. I knew in a second that this moment would explain everything about the tragic mystery that was Galinda Upland. I squeezed her hand reassuringly – a way of telling her I understood. My blond companion looked at her father, who was behind us, briefly before reaching out and pushing the door open.

She pulled me into the room, and what I saw threw me off. It was a lavish room – an extremely plush-looking bed, soft carpets, elegant wall tapestries in various rich shades of garnet and gold to match the thick bedspread, and a glorious chandelier that hung magnificently from the ceiling. However, what through me off was the strange tik-tok thing that stood next to the edge of the bed. It wasn't a creature, it was a simple machine with various bags of fluids attached to it, and it was beeping incredibly slowly. As Galinda pulled me closer, I realized it. The strange object was attached to the arm of a woman.

The woman lying in bed looked strikingly like Galinda – even in her evident illness. She was sickly pale, like Galinda, with thick flaxen curls sprawled out on her pillow. Her facial features were soft and rounded, and her eyelashes were thick and black. Exactly like Galinda, with wrinkles around her eyes. Even the sunken cheekbones were the same. When I looked up at Galinda, her expression had changed.

Never before had I seen such a look of excruciating pain. Her forehead was creased, her eyes were glazed over and the dark circles under her eyes were a stark contrast to her pale skin. But at the same time, her pained expression was also determined. I watched as she reached out and took hold of the woman's small hand, and immediately I knew.

This woman was Galinda's mother.

My friend looked up at me. "Elphie. Meet my mother. Deleina Arduenna," said she, and I looked at her mother's face once again.

"Pleasure to meet you," said I softly.

"Momsie, this is Elphie – my best friend. She's coming to spend Lurlinemas with us," prattled Galinda. I watched as she explained to her mother who I was, even though it fell upon deaf ears. I simply could not bear to watch the scene in front of me. How long had Galinda's mother been in this condition? How much longer would the condition last? What caused this unfortunate event? So many questions were reeling through my head, though I knew that it was not the time or place to ask.

We stayed in the room a while longer as her father spoke briefly to her mother as well, and I watched, my heart breaking bit by bit, as he kissed her forehead and left the room. My companion stayed to stare at the woman a while longer, before quickly tearing me out of the room and down the hallway.

I was thrust into a large room so quickly that I had no time to acknowledge what it looked like. Galinda was immediately in front of me, the same dead look in her eyes I had seem a million times before – but this time there was a spark of something. A spark of madness, of craze.

"Elphie," began she, coming so close that her front was pressed against mine. "Elphie, I need you. I need help, I need you Elphie, please," begged Galinda, and I instinctively wrapped my arms around her stiff body. My questions could wait – right now, Galinda needed me.

She turned her head of blond curls to the side on my chest, and moved an arm from around my waist. She pulled far enough away from me to look me directly in the eye, and her fingers slid up my arm slowly. The sensation of her fingertips brushing my skin so delicately left my stomach in knots. As her fingertips came into contact with mine a jolt rushed through my body, and I knew the same jolt pulsed through her because, for just a moment, her steely grey eyes flashed a brilliant oceanic blue.


End file.
